NYE Resolution: No More Resolutions

         As 2012 winds down,most people are busy making New Years resolutions. Through reflecting on the past years' highs and lows, most people are vowing to hit the gym more, eat their vegetables, and say their prayers nightly. I am not one to make resolutions, though.I think it sets too high of an expectation, instead I have small things I want to improve upon in my everyday life. Every night in my prayers I ask G-d to help me to be a better person tomorrow than I was today. Do I need to go to the gym more? And eat more vegetables? Absolutely. But I'm not going to say I'm going to be on the treadmill 7 days a week...because I know I won't be. But I will use 2013 to continue improving myself inside and out. I will not be perfect, but I will strive to learn from my mistakes in order to not make the same ones. I will continue to grow and nurture those relationships that are most important to me, something I have ignored in past years. But most of all, I will continue to blossom into the woman, employee, daughter, and partner that I want to be, not the woman that I am expected to be. Life is such an amazing journey full of unexpected wonder, but the most cherished relationship that should come from your life is the one with yourself....so make 2013 the year all about you! 

5 Things I Won't Miss if The World Ends Friday

I don't really think the world is going to end on 12/21/12, and if it happens there will be a lot of things I would miss. My family, friends, and boyfriend would be number one, with Zac Efron pictures, Sour Patch Kids, and purses coming in as a close second. There are some things, however, that I would not miss so much if the world spontaneously combusted tomorrow. This is that list. 

1. People who talk on their phone super loudly
     I totally understand that our cell phones have become our life. I am admittedly one of those people who is constantly on their phone for both work and pleasure. However, I am always aware of my surroundings...and my voice volume out in public. Nothing can destroy a nice evening out faster than someone blabbing on their cell phone louder than a megaphone. I want to go up to their table and scream "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!!!!!!!!" but eventually deem it inappropriate. 

2. People who don't use blinkers
     I love blinkers. It's probably because I am a control freak and like to know everything. Either way, people who don't use blinker and then get mad because you won't let them over into your lane, or make you mad because they cut you off...suck. It's the easiest thing in the world to use your blinker. Just do it. 

3. PDA
     Also known as Public Displays of Affection. This really shouldn't need an explanation, but alas, here we go. I am very happy you are in love, lust, or whatever, but no one wants to see you shoving your tongue down the throat of your significant other. NO ONE. And while we are at it, no one needs a million Facebook status updates about how in love you are. If the relationship is that great your friends and family will be able to tell without you even having to say it. 

4. Gangham Style
     Yes, the song is catchy. And the dance is super cute. But like Soulja Boy, The Macarena and many many before it, this song/dance combination is so overplayed and borderline annoying. Unless at karaoke, then, like many many other one hit wonders before it, it becomes instantly awesome again. 

5. People who wear socks with sandals
     Okay, really this one needs no explanation. You don't need to be a fashionista to figure this one out. 

In Spite of Everything

 "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death." --Anne Frank


 In a country that prides itself on being the land of the free and home of the brave, many innocent lives are taken daily by other people. My thoughts and prayers are with the parents, students, and community of Newtown, CT, but there is a much larger issue that tragedies like this bring up...and it's not gun control. 

Did you know it is easier to access guns in America than mental health services? A mental illness is a medical condition that disrupts a person's thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Ranging from anxiety and depression to bipolar disorder and personality disorder, mental illness can affect a person of any age, race, religion, or socioeconomic background. Just like diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a lowered capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life. 

Because of the stigma still attached to receiving help for any kind of mental disorder, most people do not seek help. This is something that has got to change. Medication is not enough, yet in most cases is the only "help" people with mental illness receive. It is proven that medications along with cognitive based therapy is the most effective form of treatment for most mental disorders. It may be scary, but the first step would be to find a professional whom you feel you can connect to to open up about your issues. That person will work with you to tailor a treatment plan specific to you. 7.5 million Americans suffer from mental illness yearly, so whether you are suffering from anxiety or something more serious, know that you are not alone. You are never alone. 

Gun control is an issue that has been on the radar since the tragedy at Columbine, and obviously has heated up in the past 24 hours, and while I will keep my opinions of the second amendment to myself, know this: many states require a mental health evaluation as well as a background check to purchase a gun. An evaluation, and actual help, are two totally different things though. In the state of Connecticut, for example, the public mental health system currently provides coverage for less than 1 in 5 residents with serious mental health problems. Mental health, something that should be very important to everyone, gets pushed to the side and receives little to no funding from a government with an already bloated budget. 

 Encourage people to seek help for anything. Talk to your peers, friends, or family about troubles, and if you are lucky enough to be confided in, give encouragement. It takes a brave person to seek help for any ailment, especially one with a mental illness.There will always be monsters in this world, people who do insane acts for no rhyme or reason. But, it is our duty as not only humans, but Americans to help those around us who may be crying out, most of the time silently. 

Below is the link to the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI), they have great articles about how to talk about, and deal with tragedies, where to find help and treatment, as well as great discussion groups. www.nami.org

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...What Ya Gonna Do?

My boyfriend vacuumed the carpets and did the dishes the other night, and while I was appreciative, the only thing running through my mind was why he was 7 minutes late picking me up from work. Yes, I'm a bitch, but I'm also a woman. It has been proven that women are more perceptive of a man's forgetfulness than his attentions. So is it really our own faults that we tend to fall for bad boys? 

We have all been there, wine and ice cream in tow, rushing to a friend's aide when her man treats her badly. He didn't call her back, he cheated, he didn't tell her she was pretty often enough. And, most likely, you were that girl crying on the couch at one point. But on the flip side, when we do land a "nice" guy, there's always some lame excuse as to why it didn't work out. He was clingy. He moved too fast. He didn't have a life, he was too nice. I am guilty of this myself, I'm not proud to say. Who breaks up with someone because they're too nice?! A lot of women surprisingly. 

It's almost primitive, but women love a good challenge. Dysfunctional men are looked at as projects to fix, rather than bad news. Also, women consistently prefer more conventionally masculine men during ovulation, this according to research. Really then, it's not our fault entirely, like countless other things we can go ahead and place the blame on our ovaries! 

Everyone's definition of a bad boy is different, but stereotypically he has tattoos, a motorcycle, and a lot of swagger. Psychologically, though, bad boys possess the "dark triad": narcissism, Machiavellianism (manipulativeness), and psychopathy (callousness, lying, thrill seeking). This deadly combination of James Bond-esque traits is any woman's Achilles heel. Most women would drop their panties for a smoldering Johnny Depp more than a sweetsy Justin Bieber, and those women having that "dark triad" have a greater number of sexual partners than other men. 

The biggest allure of the bad boy though, are all of their positive characteristics. Confidence, creativity, charisma, high energy, and good social skills are all attractive attributes that most "bad boys" possess. Who doesn't love a confident guy who can walk into a room and talk to everyone with ease? 

Bad boys will always be around, and there will always be women wishing and praying that they're the one who will "fix" him. What I've learned is all guys need some sort of fixing, (sorry honey) but it's finding that perfect balance of bad and nice that'll give the emotional fulfillment we so crave while also keeping us on our toes. And if you're not looking for a long lasting, meaningful relationship, it can be so good to be bad. 

Be A Star Guest at Any Holiday Party

The season of endless weekends of eggnog, cheer, mistletoe's  and the hotty toddy is upon us. Don't just be another face in the crowd, be a rock star guest! 

1. Dress to Impress
     Depending on what kind of holiday party it is will determine your wardrobe. If it is for work, stay with a sleek, modern style. I'm not saying be stuffy, but a great ponte dress with statement necklace and vibrant pumps will grab everyone's attention, but not in a way that will provide for watercooler fodder on Monday morning. No one wants to be that girl. For a party with close friends or family, something a little trendier and sexier is totally appropriate. Great winter shorts with textured hose and a new, cool tuxedo jacket will have heads turning and will give you a reason to show off all those lunges you've been doing! 

2. Bring a Host Gift
     This is a southern tradition that doesn't get enough credit. Something simple like a new playlist, your favorite holiday candle scent, or even homemade treats are a great way to show your host or hostess that you appreciate the invitation! 

3. Don't Be Too Fashionably Late
     Anyone who has planned any kind of party or event knows how stressful the process can be. The minutes leading up to the big event are anxiety ridden...what if no one comes?! There's a 15 minute window that's appropriate, but tardiness more than that is disrespectful. 

4. Be a Mingle Master
     Don't back yourself into a corner, and as hard as it is, put that crackberry away for the night. This will make you more approachable, and if you're flying solo this is super important because you don't want to be that schmuck in the corner. If you only know a select group at the party, venture out and make new friends! To avoid that awkward first time conversation lull, start off with a compliment! Who doesn't love to hear nice stuff about themselves? 

5. Shake Yo Ass...But Watch Yoself
    It's a party, so I encourage you to have fun. Dance! Drink! Be merry! But know your limits. We aren't 19 year olds at a frat house, puking in the bathroom or making a jackass of yourself will only put a downer on the mood and most likely piss your host off. Also, in the age of Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, any move you make is most likely being captured, so make it a good one! 

6. Know When to Go
     Every host has subtle hints of when it's time to wrap it up. Most will start doing dishes or cleaning, taking out the trash, or complaining about what a long day they have ahead of them the next day. Don't be the one that stays until kicked out...it's a party, not a sleepover. 

7. Send Your Thanks
     An old fashioned personalized thank you note is always appreciated, but even a phone call or text would be appropriate the day after the fete. This lets your host know you loved the party and the effort it took into putting it together. 

Unexpected Thanks

Thanksgiving is upon us, a day where we stuff ourselves not only with food and frequent flyer miles, but also stuff our families and friends with love and praise. I try to continually tell my loved ones how much they mean to me, because it’s not something that should be said once a year. With that being said, I would like to talk about 10 unexpected things that I am thankful for…and for the record, caffeine isn’t on the list, but is definitely an honorable mention.

1.      Fairytales

     Every girl dreams of prince charming, happily ever after, and a pair of shoes that can change her life. Fairytales give me hope and happiness no matter what kind of day I’ve had.

2.      The timer my family put on my internet use as a child…it forced me to use my imagination

         While I may have complained severely about this growing up, I am so thankful that my parents limited my technological distractions so as to force me to be creative with my time. I started to write, did a lot of reading, and bonded a ton with my younger siblings. Those things would have been stifled with hours of Farmville.

3.      Days that I can drive with my windows down

           Nothing puts a smile to my face faster, other than a sweet smooch from my boyfriend, than the days I can drive around with my windows down blaring the radio. In this moment I can be carefree and forget about whatever stresses are weighing on me.

4.      The family that I am building for myself (no I’m not pregnant!)

          I have a wonderful family, and as I grow older I am building one of my own. Myself, Jeremy, Jameson, and Jack share the best and worst of times together. Without them, I would not be the woman that I am today.

5.      To hear “good morning, I love you” every morning

         Okay, I may initiate this little ritual, but it’s a lovely thing to hear in the mornings! I am NOT a morning person (as most of you know) and will do as little talking as possible before a more appropriate time, like noon. Saying and hearing “good morning I love you” everyday though, is the only thing that can make me crack a smile at what feels like the crack of dawn.

6.      My connection to God

         I have been through a lot of ups and downs in life thus far, and I am sure I will have many more. One unwavering sense of relief and calm that I have though, is my connection to God.

7.      Tequila and red wine

      Both are great after a hard day…which one I drink really depends on just how hard they day was.

8.      The rush of endorphins after a great workout

        A lot of life is spent thinking “I can’t, I’m not good enough, I’m not capable” but in the gym, especially when working out with Jeremy, I push myself to limits I didn’t even think I could reach. The feeling of accomplishment mixed with sweat is one that cannot be mimicked.

9.      Mascara and lip gloss

          If you know me…you know I have a slight obsession with lip gloss. I probably have about 50 tubes. Mascara and lip gloss are quick, easy ways to make me feel put together and feminine, even on days I feel like I look like a dogs’ butt.

10.   The sounds of snores coming from my loved ones

         This may sound odd, but I get an overwhelming sense of calm from the sound of snoring. It means the ones I love are with me, safe and sound. Every night as I lay in bed I am able to sleep peacefully knowing my puppies and love are with me. **Side note…this does not include my dad’s snoring. I am so thankful for him, but his snoring is so ridiculous I can hear faint sounds of it from my apartment miles and miles away.

Modern Girl Power

Are the Housewives phenomenons actually, dare I say it, empowering women? When the franchise started nearly eight years ago it was meant to take a real look into the lives of the American elite and how the role of housewife has changed over time. Desperate Housewives meets The Real World. As the viewership grew, and more and more casts were added, the women chosen were wives and mothers, yes, but were also shrewd business women. Most would be able to support themselves if need be. And those who were not working at the beginning of their Housewives stint started venturing into lucrative business deals. Despite the cat fights, drink slinging, and overall middle school behavior...could the Housewives be empowering women? 

It is sad, but within each cities' franchise there has been at least one relationship casualty. While we as the viewer never know each side of every story and what we do see is edited, there seems to be a theme threading these divorcees together: gained independence. Whether it be financially, emotionally, or physically, all the Housewives relationships that have gone kaput are somehow connected to that woman freeing herself. Are these women getting stronger and more assertive because of the show? The women's behavior isn't always feminine, pristine, or even civil, but there's an overall tone of empowerment and comradery. No matter how much they fight and stab each other in the back, every Housewife supports one another, and at the end of the day, isn't that what modern girl power is all about? 

Lets Get Physical

           

               Most women I know don’t know how to work out properly. They live on the treadmill and elliptical machines, or in spin classes. But, if you’re trying to be fit and healthy, and not just working out to lose weight, cardio is only a fraction of the equation. Know what the problem with that is? Most of us are not working out for its health benefits. Sure, we know it’s good for us, but I’d say 90% of women in the gym are not there for the good checkup from their doctor….it’s for those Michelle Obama arms.

               The gym can be a super intimidating place. I’d like to think of myself as athletic, but having heard I run like a wild goose by several people, I may not be the Olympic athlete I once thought I was. All those different machines that are supposed to sculpt and tone your body into Jennifer Aniston’s look more like Chinese torture devices to me…I mean, how do you know if you’re using it right?! Yes, I realize they have instructions on the actual machines, but I don’t want to look like a newbie! Thank goodness for YouTube. Yes, I YouTube how to use the exercise machines! I don’t want to look like an idiot, or at least more athletic than I do on the treadmill.

               Women base most of their lives around events. Weddings, birthdays, hot dates…we plan our eating, working, and working out around these things. I won’t wear an outfit if I know I plan on wearing it for an event in the near future. I am a bridesmaid in a good friends’ wedding and have tried to curb my sweet tooth in place of fruits and vegetables. One thing that I think prevents a lot of women from getting down and dirty in the gym is the infrequency. Most of us only lift weights if we have a strapless dress to don in the near future. But retraining my brain into thinking of the gym as a place to get healthy, not a quick fix, has really improved my workouts. I go harder, last longer, and am more consistent with my routine. I may not have Michelle Obama arms or Gwen Stefani abs yet, but I feel a lot healthier. My blood pressure is better, I am feeling and sleeping a lot better (hello endorphins!), and look at the gym as a place for mental and physical challenges, not a faraway place I need to visit only when even Spanx can’t make me look skinny. 

Yes, Go To Bed Angry!

They say never going to bed angry is the golden rule to a good relationship.I say it's the gold plated rule. Going to bed before resolving things may leave you feeling anxious, unsettled, and nervous, but it also gives both you and your partner a time to step away from whatever argument you're having and think to yourselves. Is this something worth fighting over? Has this been blown out of proportion? Is standing my ground worth losing valuable time that could be better spent loving my partner? These are all thoughts and solutions that are best thought of not in the heat of the moment. When arguments drag on with no end in sight things are said that aren't meant...things that can never be taken back. When we get angry the reasonable parts of our brain shut down, and we have fight or flight tunnel vision. If we would just go to bed, let our blood pressure settle down, and return to our normal psychological state, (no one is "normal" during a fight!) issues may get solved a lot faster. Dear Abby may not agree with me, and I am in no way a relationship expert, but I know it is better to solve problems and discuss issues with a calm, clear head...and if it takes a few hours of deep sleep to get that, than so be it. I would rather go to bed angry than get nothing accomplished....plus, who says the best part of a fight, the make up, isn't more enjoyable in the morning?  

5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships

5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships....And Managed To Grow From It

1. Bottle of Anger

    I used to bottle everything that frustrated, annoyed, or upset me up until one day everything would come exploding out. This usually made a normal disagreement turn into something that should be on Maury. I still do this from time to time, but have really found that discussing the issue or problem right as it happens saves a lot of time and heartache. 

2. D! Fence!

    I am a naturally defensive person. I can try not to be, but if you say my shrimp Alfredo is fishy or my cakeballs aren't perfect spheres, there is a good chance I will fly into a rage or defend my lumpy cakeballs until death! As I have grown, I try to take less and less personally, because life is too short to be on the defense the whole time. 

3. Mo Money Mo Problems

    I have never been great at balancing my checkbook. I don't say this as a good thing, it really is my biggest downfall. Those who have had to suffer the most? Boyfriends. They got lousy birthday presents, they've had to pay for much more than they expected, and have been just overall burdened with my Carrie Bradshaw philosophy on money: "I like my money where I can see it. Hanging in my closet." This is probably the issue that I have worked on the most, and still need the most help with. It is the single subject that Jeremy and I talk (and argue) about most, and is a big reason why we are not yet engaged. But I am proud to say that I have my priorities much more in order now...not even the gleam of Chanel can distract me from my financial goals....well...lets not test that! 

4. It's Not Me, It's You

    My mom pointed something out to me in high school that has stuck with me until today. She said she noticed me not being my true self around boys, especially ones I had crushes on. This continued on past high school. I always found myself becoming a version of myself that I thought the boy I was dating wanted me to be. He's into baseball? Oh hey, me too! Loves trying new and exotic restaurants? Uh...yeah me too! Has a passion for obscure, indie rock bands? I'll go grab my studded belt! I don't know if it is my current mate making me feel at ease, wisdom from my age, or a combination thereof, but I have never felt more free to be me. I am goofy, silly, and a bit of a romantic at heart, and I'd like to think those are qualities Jeremy loves about me...even if he doesn't laugh at all my cheesy jokes! 

5. Stage 5 Commitment-Phobe

     In high school I did not believe in the whole "high school sweetheart" experience. Why tie yourself down for four years when you could use that time exploring the type of person you're attracted to? I never really grew out of that. I was always looking to have fun, and honestly, always looking for the NBT. The next best thing. I was the type of girl who wanted a wedding...not necessarily a marriage. Now I am learning to truly cherish my relationship with not only my love, but also my friends and family. No more fight or flight for this girl, it seems even some of the biggest beasts can be tamed. 

Being now in my mid-twenties (where the hell has time gone?!) I am trying to grow myself into the woman I want to become. So if I have dated you...I am sorry if I blew our relationship, sincerely. But I needed you better myself, so thank you for your contribution to the Taylor Escobar Project. 

Halloween Masks

Halloween provides us with a time to put on masks...but do we always have invisible ones on? Some of us hide behind masks of confidence, arrogance, or worthiness. Fake it til you make it, right? But are we doing more harm than good...are these masks that we all hide behind doing more harm than good? The purpose of a mask in laments terms is to conceal. Too much concealment though and you are never able to let anyone in...you also lose track of who you really are. So it is technically November 1st, and you're probably sick to your stomach from too much Twix bars, but take off that mask. Be your real self with someone today. It may not the easiest thing you do, but it will be the bravest. 

No, God Did Not Intend That...

Yet another politician has come forward to say that abortion, even in the case of rape, is wrong because "it is something God intended to happen." No. God did not. I am not a deeply religious person, but do consider myself spiritual and I do not think a child conceived from rape is intended by God. That would mean that the rape itself, the most violating, humiliating, and traumatizing act that a woman can experience, was an act of God...and I personally cannot believe this to be true. The God that I know, believe, and love does not intend for rapes...ever. 

The topic of abortion is a sensitive one and everyone is entitled to his or her opinion about the matter, but I personally feel that it is a decision each woman should make on her own after much reflection and thought. The gift of life is the most precious of God's gifts, but when that life is a result of a rape, it is not a gift from God...just an unfortunate consequence from a devastating act. 

Daddy Issues

It took a few bad boyfriends, and one great one to have a real relationship with my father. Usually it's the other way around, but I've always done things a little backwards. I was never very rebellious growing up, but I did stupid stuff from time to time. This, along with my pride preventing me for apologizing for those mistakes I made, affected my relationship with my father pretty severely. Things were said and done that were not meant. Great lengths were gone to to avoid each other, and the holidays were hell. I was sad but convinced that this would be the state of our relationship forever. 

Tonight, I was able to sit down in my parents' home at the kitchen table and talk to my father alone. The same kitchen table I sat at as a child while being scolded and reprimanded, I was now able to sit at and enjoy my dad's company. We talked about life, future plans, and had a genuine conversation with no awkwardness or resentment. This has been four years in the making, with efforts being made from both of us. Maybe it is because I am getting older, and perhaps more mature...or maybe because he is getting older, and perhaps softer, but it seems that we have both made bettering our relationship a priority. Those hurtful things that were said and done in the past have been forgiven, at least on my end...I cannot speak for him. 

It has taken a lot of time, effort, and reflection to get my severed relationship with my dad to where it is today. I am very thankful to my boyfriend and mother for encouraging me to not dismiss this relationship as I have with others, because friends may come and go, but you only get one chance to be a daddy's girl. 

A Pacifier A Day Keeps The Emotional Growth At Bay?

It is no secret that boys are not very expressive with their emotions. There are no shortage of television shows, movies, and songs highlighting this, but a new study may hold all the answers. I am not a mother, but  I do know that pacifiers can be a huge help to parents dealing with a very fussy son or daughter. But, are those pacifiers shutting those babies up for more than just the time period?

A new study suggests that boys who were given pacifiers as babies had a lack of emotional growth later in life. Before a baby can talk, they use non-verbal cues, specifically facial expressions to communicate. They learn these facial expressions by mimicking others, all the while discovering the emotions that these expressions are attached to. Pretty incredible, right? So this study showed that boys in the 7-8 year old age range that were given pacifiers as babies heavily were worse at mimicking emotions and facial expressions. To make matters worse, surveyors interviewed more than 600 college age men whose parents reported heavy pacifier use, and those men scored significantly lower on tests measuring empathy and deciphering different emotions. Not surprising is the fact that girls seemed to not be affected by heavy pacifier use….we are very emotional beings and will figure out a way to let you know how we’re feeling! Parents tend to talk to girls more about emotional processing than boys, and since boys are not expected to be as emotional, parents may not compensate for the pacifier use.

It doesn’t take a Sex and The City marathon to figure out that men have the emotional capacity of a baby…but is it really their fault? This new study linking heavy pacifier use and emotional growth in males proves that maybe we should give our closed lipped honeys a break, it’s not their fault they can’t communicate their feelings…it’s their mother’s! 

The 1%

With the car magnets, bright shoelaces, and numerous rallies, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a great time to educate people about this awful, yet treatable if detected early, disease. Yes, I said "people", not "women". 

It is an unfortunate fact that men can be diagnosed with Breast Cancer and all too often the diagnoses is far too delayed because, lets face it, men hate going to the doctor. Male Breast Cancer is a rare condition, making up 1% of those who are diagnosed. Forget Occupy Wall Street, these men are the real 1 percenters that deserve to be grabbing headlines. 

A lump beneath the nipple is the most common symptom with 2,190 men expected to be diagnosed in 2012. Men possess a small amount of non-functioning breast tissue, and like breast cancer in women, treatment depends on the stage of cancer. Most men are initially treated by surgery, though. 

So man up and check yourself! That lump could easily be a fatty deposit, but continually ignoring a potential symptom could lead to a later stage of the cancer. 410 of the 2,190 men diagnosed are expected to die. Those are 410 fathers, brothers, grandfathers, and uncles. I am not trying to shift the focus off of the thousands of fearless women battling this awful disease, but rather show another perspective, one that, because it is the minority, gets pushed under the rug far too easily. 

Male Breast Cancer is a rare, but still relevant disease. So, to the men in my life, rock a pink tie with your power suit. Switch your shoelaces, even participate in a walk, but most importantly don't think you can't get it because you don't fill out a bra. Check yourself out, because 1% is 1% too many.

Growing Pains

We have all seen the pictures...and the headlines. "Porkerface", "She ate the meat dress!", and "Is she pregnant...or just fat?" The singer has been turning the criticism into a new cause, launching a "body revolution" to encourage fans to embrace their flaws and post photos of themselves that "celebrates triumph over insecurities." The woman has admittedly gained 25 pounds, yet the story is making more headlines than the upcoming presidential election. 

What kind of message is this sending young women of the world? With starts like Gaga, Demi Lovato, and even Katie Couric openly admitting to struggling with eating disorders...is too much effort going into treating existing problems versus preventing them? I think Gaga's "body revolution" is a great start. 

I am in no way condoning an unhealthy lifestyle, but weight fluctuation is perfectly normal, within a moderate amount, of course. What are young girls, many of whom are going through puberty and already feel emotional, alone, and awkward, supposed to think when they see their idol being scrutinized on every website and magazine? Unfortunately the answer all too many times is making extremely unsafe and unhealthy decisions with her body. 

No matter how many Zumba classes I take or how many hours I spend on the elliptical, I will never have the perfect body...and I am finally okay with that. Know what I think the sexiest thing about me is? My new found confidence in myself, that stems from my healthy lifestyle. Being healthy on the outside will make you exponentially healthier on the inside. 

So the key to prevention is mindset? Maybe. Giving young women the tools and knowledge on living a healthy lifestyle will help them not only make better decisions when it comes to their bodies, but also give them the confidence to embrace their flaws along with their beauties...because everyone has plenty of both! Negative body image and the subsequent eating disorders are like a cancer eating away at our youth...so shouldn't we be putting as much effort into prevention as we do treatment? 

Thin Outside, Fat Inside

It seems like there has been an outbreak lately. An epidemic of people, specifically women, being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, or pre-diabetes. When you think of someone who is diabetic, what do you picture? An overweight, lazy couch potato who has McDonald's and Pizza Hut on speed dial? That's what I used to picture too...but not anymore. 

About 15% of the 26 million Americans that have diabetes are NOT overweight, this according to the National Health Institute. "TOFI", which stands for Thin Outside, Fat Inside exposes that inner "fat girl" that everyone has living inside her, and her evil plan to make you sick! TOFI happens when fat that would normally build under the skin starts building around your organs...something that's even scarier than an exposed muffin top! This fat buildup around your organs can cause inflammatory substances to affect your liver and pancreas and lower your insulin levels. So your skinny jeans may fit like a glove, but your insides could be working like you're obese. 

What is the biggest factor to TOFI? Too much focus on diet with no time in the gym! Spending time in the gym has so many benefits including being a stress reliever and giving you those Michelle Obama arms, but preventing type 2 diabetes has got to be the best! Exercise is key in lowering your blood sugar and just 30 minutes of brisk walking cuts your odds of type 2 diabetes by 58%, even if you're pre-diabetic. 

The classic balance of exercise and diet...it's the only system that works! Yo-yo dieting can cause big weight losses and gains, causing huge troughs and peaks in your insulin production. Not to mention, when you lose extreme amounts of weight you lose fat and muscle, and if you gain that weight back you're solely gaining back fat. The key to a good diet is eating healthy foods, not just foods you think are healthy. There is tons of sugar even in foods advertised as "low fat". 

Type 2 diabetes has found a new target: slim, young women. Your waistline is no longer  the determining factor in health. It is your body, it's a responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly, especially considering this is a disease that is almost entirely preventable through your lifestyle choices. So get your buns in the gym today! Not only will you be fit on the outside, but more importantly, your insides will be fit too! 

Oscar Wilde

      "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." --Oscar Wilde

I'll admit it...women are crazy. All of us, in one way or another, so it's just a waste of time trying to figure us out. We over-analyze, worry too much, change our minds with the blink of an eye, and can start to cry during a Kleenex commercial. Every girl has something that makes her a little crazy, but one thing is a common denominator for us all: all women just want to be loved. 

Love and its' definition is very personal, but every girl wants to feel wanted, feel appreciated, and feel needed. It's encoded in our DNA, (I have no proof of that actually), and from a very early age we are taught that love, soul mates, and romance define a life worth living. Once we find that "forever love" we assume that the rest is easy as pie...that's where all the movies and fairy tales end, right? 

Trying to make love last is an everyday job, and just like any other job, if you feel under-appreciated or unwanted...the crazy may start to seep out. Here are some relatively simple things to keep your woman happy...and maybe control the crazy. 

                          1. If you love her, tell her. We can never hear it enough. 
                          2. Tell her she looks pretty every once in a while. Nothing constant, but knowing              you still find her to be beautiful helps keep those pesky "inadequate" fights at bay. 
                          3. Say good morning and good night...everyday. 

Pretty simple, right? Basically, it's a lot easier to love a woman than try to understand her. There will be good days and bad days, life's usual ups and downs, so don't add more stress by trying to figure us out. Just give us a love worthy of a fairy tale. 

A House Divided

Love can conquer anything, right? ...even opposing political views? They say friendship, respect, and loyalty are the foundations to a great relationship, but I think that having a lasting relationship requires a little bit more. It requires open communication and a desire to grow and live your lives as one. So can two people, who genuinely love each other, make their relationship last forever if their politics clash? 

I've always been told there are a few things to not discuss at parties: religion and politics. I am not one to preach or push my beliefs onto anyone, but for the sake of this, I am going to have to talk....the "P" word. Politics! I am a liberal person at heart and my love is a little more conservative. He's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll. Politics highlight fundamental similarities and differences in value and character, and how these issues are broached can either make or break a relationship. So when is it important to break out the politics talk?

With election season kicking into high gear, hot button issues like gay rights, war, and the economy are forcing my boyfriend and I to talk about sensitive issues that (a) don't normally get brought up, or (b) we are too scared to bring up. We may have opposing views on a lot of things, but there are a few core issues that we can agree upon. For the rest...I don't expect him to change, and he doesn't expect me to either, but keeping an open mind and an open heart prevents politics from ruining our relationship. 

So when is the right time to have "the talk"? Well, that all depends on how well you know yourself, and how politics fits into your life. The more important it is to you, the more you will need a partner who is on the same page, or at the very least, open minded. You may enjoy the fiery spark of a debate, but that can get a little tiresome if it's a constant at the dinner table. 

What you believe in and how deeply you believe in it defines you as a person. And if the person you love doesn't share those values with you, at least make sure he or she is open minded, and keep in mind political arguments can be the best foreplay there is. 

Don't Wear Makeup to the Breakup

Relationships are like a drug. They can give you the highest high and make you feel like you're Superman, or, when the come down starts, it can send everything crashing down around you. Breakups are hard on everyone. Whether you initiated it or not, you're still giving up on something you spent so much time and energy on. 

Romantic relationships require such a delicate balance, it's almost like juggling fine china on a tightrope. It's no wonder people are always searching for the keys to a successful relationship. Success is a word that means something different to each person, so I'm not sure opening up a magazine or searching things on Google will do a lot for your individual relationship. Of course, having a good foundation of trust, lust, communication, and mutual respect are keys to successful relationships and can always be improved upon. 

The most important thing to any successful relationship? Drive. You have to wake up everyday knowing that you're going to have to "work" on your relationship and go to bed every night praying that tomorrow you'll still have the passion to do it all over again. "But that's hard work!" you may say, or "real relationships don't take that much effort!" Yes they do. Would you plant a garden and expect it to flourish without you feeding and watering it? I hope not, because if so you're a bit delusional. And if both partners don't commit themselves fully everyday, than it might be time to re-examine. 

Every failed relationship teaches us something new, and helps us to grow for the next one. But in the wake of a breakup, especially an unexpected one, it's hard to believe that. It's hard to It's hard to believe it's really over, hard to believe the person whom you loved isn't who is sitting before you, and hardest to believe that the heaviness in your heart will start to fade away someday. But it will! Beating yourself up about the logistics won't get you anywhere. The Whys and Hows are meaningless after a breakup, what's important is giving yourself some time. 

To love and be loved is one of life's greatest treasures. Sometimes that love isn't forever, but that just means God's preparing you for bigger, better things. And when you find that "forever" kind of love, don't take it for granted, because good things don't come to those who wait, good things come to those who work their asses off for what they love. 

Brotherly Love

Growing up I always wanted to be an only child, probably because I was an attention whore. Fast forward nineteen years later and I couldn't be happier to have my brother and sister! We are all 3 so supportive of one another, and it's nice to know I'll always have them if I need them. It's also nice to know I'll have help from them when our mother officially loses her  marbles! That day seems to be quickly approaching....

I know if I need anything that my brother and sister would move heaven and earth for me, and I hope they know that I would do the same for them. Siblings are the best friends that God has hand picked for you, so it's important to treasure and nourish those relationships. Does that mean siblings don't fight or get annoyed with one another? Heck no! Some of life's worst fights and harshest words are exchanged with those we love the most. But it's important to quickly forgive and forget because friends may come and go, but you'll never outgrow your siblings. 

Through every crush, every test, every break up and make up, my little brother and sister have been there every step of the way. It's comforting to know that if I ever needed to be bailed out of jail I have a couple siblings who would come for me, or if they didn't have the money, would somehow break me out! And hopefully they'd be fast about it, because orange clashes with my skin tone, and jumpsuits give me camel toe. 

Writers Block

I'm no good at talking

and can only show you so much

So I hope you don't mind

that I wrote down in words

how happy I am, and how you've become my world

The moment I met you

I knew you were something special.

There's a light in your eyes, a tingling in your touch,

There's a static in your kiss, and I still get shivers

when our bodies brush.

Time slows down whenever you're around,

So I want to make this last forever

Because no one makes me feel as strong, beautiful, or clever

Can you feel that magic in the air?

Must've been the way you kissed me....

Transparent Honesty...Safe For Relationships?

Women say they want brutal honesty from their partners, but do they really? I usually want to hear only the good, with the bad being more sugar-coated than a Sour Patch Kids candy. But does that make for a healthy relationship? If I ask my boyfriend if my butt looks good in a new pair of jeans, I'm not fishing for compliments I want a genuine answer. Being transparently honest with your partner will bring the two of you so much closer together. Expressing likes, dislikes, fears, and goals will not only bring you closer, but also solidify that you're both on the same life path. 

I want to be married one day. I like what a marriage stands for, the constant battle it provides, and endless joy of growing old with someone you love. I used to date a guy who doesn't believe in marriage. I tried to lie to myself, and him, saying that getting married wasn't important to me, and after for years of dating, why was I so surprised that it didn't work out?! If I had been as brutally honest with him as he was with me, I would have saved us both a lot of time. 

I am not in a relationship wherein brutal honesty is becoming an everyday part of life. If Jeremy gets hit on, I know about it. If my hair color looks awful, I'm told. It took me a while to get used to this kind of openness, but recently I have started to embrace it. If something bothers me, I let it out instead of bottling it up. If his hair gel smells funky, I certainly tell him. 

Relationships are a constant work in progress, and sometimes hearing the truth no matter what, can be painful. Those little white lies partners get so used to telling each other can end up doing more harm than good. Your significant other should be the one you can trust to tell you the good, bad, and ugly...because you'd better believe if my butt doesn't look good in my jeans, I really want to know!  

What I Miss About Being Fat

I've never been obese, but about four years ago I was headed down that path. Drinking a lot of alcohol, having the lady at Wendy's know me by name, and blaming my hectic life for lack of exercise was leading me toward an early grave. I was the fun party girl who was friendly with everyone, yet was friends with no one. I wasn't depressed, but I knew I was just wasting my life away. 

Cut to today. I have lost 50+ pounds, eat healthy, wear the smallest size of clothing I've worn since high school, and make exercise a top priority. It's actually my favorite stress reliever now. So why do I still "feel" like a fat kid? Losing the weight and making the lifestyle change were the easiest parts. Learning to to look at myself as I am, and not as I was, has been the challenge. 

So why is it when I'm shopping I start to grab a size 12 instead of a 6? And why am I more critical of my body now than I was when the scale almost topped 200 pounds? Was it because I was delirious and drunk when I was fat? No. This is actually a pretty common occurrence that specialists have dubbed "phantom fat". Psychologists and other specialists dealing with body image suspect that this happens because the brain hasn't caught up with the body. 

The fear is always in the back of my mind. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop and feel more preoccupied with my appearance now than ever. It's a work in progress, but retraining my brain to see and accept the new me has been more powerful and rewarding than losing the actual weight. I use my fear of being fat again as a positive motivator to continue living a clean lifestyle. I'm slowly learning to love and appreciate my body, and at age 25 am finally beginning to feel like the Taylor Escobar I always envisioned myself being. 

When I was fat I thought of myself as carefree when in reality I was in denial. Sure, it'd be easier to go back to living in that state of denial, but easier is not always better. I'm happier now more than ever, and if you ask me, my smile makes me look better than my slimmer waistline. 

Can A Disney Princess Handle Divorce?

Disney made us all believe in magic and the power of love. But if looked at logically, were all these fairy tales just messing with our heads...and hearts? How many of these couples would, in reality, still be living happily ever after? 

Ariel & Eric 

 This chick had to undergo major life changes for her man. Plastic surgery and abandoning her family to the extreme. That would put strain on any normal couple, but add Ariel's affinity for hoarding, and the next neat item in her collection could be separation papers. 

Aurora & Prince Phillip

This fairy tale is set way before online dating, so Aurora couldn't learn about her prince by a simple click of a button. This is a classic story of a young crazy couple getting hitched before getting to know each other. Maybe if they had gone on some dates before marriage, it would've worked out....if Aurora wasn't so busy getting her beauty sleep. 

Belle & The Beast

When we left off, The Beast went from looking like Zach Galifianakis to David Beckham. Things are perfect! ....right? Wrong. Unless he went to some Anger Management classes and those scenes ended up on the cutting room floor, he's still got that temper, honey. Not to mention, having singing, dancing pots and pans is cool every once in a while (hello holiday party!) but magical dinner theater is a pretty intense nightly affair. 

What's the lesson here? I love Disney movies, they are a great way to escape from reality, but not necessarily a place to learn about love and relationships. Every marriage has its issues, none of them are perfect...not even for a Disney princess. 

25 Things I Should Know at Age 25...and Don't.

1. Change a tire

2. Clean a room and not get distracted by random things...or starting a dance party

3. Not to go to Facebook when I'm bored

4. Walk into Target and not spend money

5. Know the difference between constructive criticism and personal attacks

6. Arrange flowers

7. Not tear up when speaking about things I'm passionate about

8. Cook a meal and have every dish ready at the same time

9. Be forceful when my dogs give me their puppy dog eyes

10. Differentiating friendliness and flirting

11. How to do my own taxes

12. To sew a button

14. How to not act nervous during interviews

15. Make fried chicken

16. Sit through one of those Sarah McLoughlin beaten puppy commercials

17. Do a load of laundry and immediately fold and put those clothes away

18. Let go of control and trust in what God has in store for me

19. Watch just one episode of Law and Order

20. Make cookies and not eat cookie dough

21. Live in the present, not dwell on the past or plan for the future

22. Bait my own hook

23. How to keep matching socks together

24. Look cool without acting like a fool

25. How not to worry 

Company Ink

Dating a co-worker definitely has its challenges. Working together and living together can sometimes seem like purgatory (he's everywhere!) but there can also be a lot of good reasons to give that hot co-worker a shot, and no, guaranteeing a raise isn't one of them! 

Ever been on a really bad, awkward first date? Ever wish there was a resume or evaluation you could get before wasting a perfectly good Saturday night? Well, if someone has made it past your HR department, at least they're sane enough to get hired! 

Working with your lover can also give you a significant insight on how he/she deals with adversity and challenges. Most couples don't have this until moving in together or if a crisis ensues. This is a great way to gauge the crazy! Do they talk to themselves, pace, or drink enormous amounts of coffee when stressed out? Expect the same at home. Is this person aggressive, goal-oriented, and always striving to "make it happen" at the office? Expect the same at home. 

Working with your honey boo boo can have its downsides, too. People tend to intertwine the both of you. You hit your monthly goals a week early? Expect both of you to be congratulated. Your boyfriend having problems with co-workers? Expect to be dragged into your manager's office for a little chat too. The biggest downside? You're always together. There when you wake up...there on your lunch break...and still there when you're falling asleep! The importance of individual hobbies and time with friends really comes into play with this situation. 

All in all dipping your pen in the company ink shouldn't be as taboo as it is or once was. You have someone who shares your passion, a built in support system, and best of all...you're guaranteed to get lucky after the company Christmas party! 

The Facebook Affect

Facebook has become an institution with so many advantages. It allows us to keep up with friends and family all over the world, and lets face it, I myself am not very good at keeping in touch with people on my own. It acts as a supplemental resume (when used correctly!), and is a community for people to feel accepted no matter what race, religion, sexual orientation, or style. But is Facebook relied on too heavily for information? It's just a website....right?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We live together, have two dogs together, and are just as committed to each other and our relationship now as we were 3 years ago. Is our relationship perfect? No. And anyone who claims theirs is is either in the honeymoon stage or lying to you and themselves. A real relationship has its ebbs and flows and requires work from both parties daily. 

Now that you have the back story... people have started to put too much stock into Facebook lately, in my opinion. Recently my relationship status changed from "in a relationship" to "in an open relationship", and it was like the flood gates were opened! Nothing in my relationship has changed. No one is cheating, no one is seeking or wanting to change any part of our partnership. We are both as committed today as we were yesterday, and nothing has changed. Yet, with one click of the button I was getting texts, phone calls, and (ironically) Facebook notifications with dozens of questions, comments, and concerns over said relationship status. While I appreciated the love and concern, nothing had changed in real life...and in the cyber world. 

Can Facebook cause relationship issues? Proclaiming your love too much, not proclaiming it enough, monitoring new friends, even taking a trip down memory lane and looking at old pictures of your significant other before you were together...all can trigger pretty big, and very unnecessary fights. Does Facebook do more harm than good? Divorce attorneys frequently cite Facebook flirtations and other social media in their cases. There's even a Facebook group called "I wonder how many relationships Facebook ruins a year"...with 100,000 "likes". 

It's a great way to keep in touch, to show off a new hairdo, or show potential employers a side of you your resume can't...but it's also a place that can breed jealousy, anger, and problems that may not have been there before. Social media has a ton of advantages, but the key to making sure your relationship stays strong and healthy is effective communication...and taking Facebook with a grain of salt. Live your life for yourself and don't take things on the internet too seriously, it's not worth it.  

Keep Your Head, Heels, and Standards High

Growing up in the family that I did, I always have had a passion for fashion. I am not saying that I'm the best dressed person ever, but I have my own style that I definitely rock! Working in a restaurant I get to see some of the best and worst that Dallas fashion has to offer, and I'm scared. Here are some friendly tips on outfits I never want to see again, or I'll have to scratch my eyes out...

1. Leggings As Pants:
 This is only acceptable when wearing a tunic...or working out. When did the camel toe become the newest fashion accessory?! Plus leggings show every imperfection a girls' body has. Not a good look.

2. Uggs and Shorts:
Why? WHy? WHY? Because some bitches worse this on The Hills circa 2005 doesn't mean this is an acceptable outfit in 2012. In fact, unless it's snowing...unless there is a BLIZZARD, just keep the Uggs inside from now on. Please. 

3. Mixing Prints: 
So you watched an episode or two of "What Not To Wear" and now you're feeling bold. This is great, but mixing patterns is very tricky. Items with bold prints can be mixed with things that have very subtle patterns. Polka dot top with a herringbone skirt? No thank you...leave those things to Vogue. 

4. Bracelets to Your Elbows:
 Bracelets, watches, and wraps mixed together in different patterns and textures can be cute, when done in moderation. But if you can't bend your arm because you have so many bracelets on? Overkill dude. Your vibe went from hippie chic to "I just stole all these bitches" in no time flat. 

Everyone has their own style and that's what great about fashion. It allows people's personalities to be showcased without saying a word. Just choose your outfits wisely or else you could end up looking like a big pile of "hot mess crazy", and that is never on trend. 

Single Girls Guide

I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend that is a true gentleman. But we are not always together, so in situations that he cannot accompany me I have to use what little focus and common sense that I have. 

Instances like walking to my car after work, going to and from the gym, even going to get gas alone puts me on high alert. Most of the time I am off in my own little world of thoughts but suddenly become acutely aware of everything when I'm alone. What happened to being an independent woman Creepy guys, that's what happened. 

Men, please understand that if a woman is alone (and sober) she's probably a little more guarded than usual. Standing by yourself in the gym with the lights off? Creepy. Asking a stranger when she's off of work so you can "walk her to her car"? Really creepy. Seeing a girl checked in somewhere on Four Square and causally running into her that? Uber creepy. 

So ladies be smart and be safe. If you're alone be aware of your surroundings, creepy guys can sense a single girl like a bloodhound. If worse comes to worse there's always pepper spray or a taser!

Mommy Dearest

I do not have any children yet, but I do have two dogs and if they are any indication of how my future children will end up...I'm screwed. My dogs are spoiled rotten attention whores, and that's putting it lightly. Is it my fault? When I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night each doggie gets a kiss and told how cute they are and how much mommy loves them. The same goes when I leave and come home...a little excessive, I know. 


Jameson is our oldest dog, she is a 2 year old lab-bulldog mix that we adopted. At about 75 pounds it's a little difficult to get a great nights sleep with her sprawled out in our bed. If she's hungry she taps on her food bowl until she's fed, and if it's bedtime she just goes ahead and climbs in bed and waits for us to follow suit. She fits her name perfectly being that she's as feisty as someone is after a few shots of James....she is the epitome of a doggie princess.


With one super high-maintenance dog the next logical step was to get another one! Jack is an English Bulldog that was my Christmas gift from Jeremy. He was 7 weeks old when we got him, cute as can be...and he knew it! Jack has to have his folds cleaned twice a day, has a more sensitive digestive system than me, (and I'm lactose intolerant) and demands to be pet or cuddled with at all times. He also has an affinity for high heels and expensive glasses. Bye bye Burberry and Louboutin! 


With weekly trips to the pond and dog park as well as monthly trips to the pet store for toys and treats, I might have created two little spoiled monsters! Maybe they were born that way, but I have a sneaky suspicion this is all my fault. It's a good thing I am practicing this "mommy" role now before I am responsible for molding an actual little human because if my kids turn out anything like my dogs I am going to be broke...very, very broke.