5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships

5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships....And Managed To Grow From It

1. Bottle of Anger

    I used to bottle everything that frustrated, annoyed, or upset me up until one day everything would come exploding out. This usually made a normal disagreement turn into something that should be on Maury. I still do this from time to time, but have really found that discussing the issue or problem right as it happens saves a lot of time and heartache. 

2. D! Fence!

    I am a naturally defensive person. I can try not to be, but if you say my shrimp Alfredo is fishy or my cakeballs aren't perfect spheres, there is a good chance I will fly into a rage or defend my lumpy cakeballs until death! As I have grown, I try to take less and less personally, because life is too short to be on the defense the whole time. 

3. Mo Money Mo Problems

    I have never been great at balancing my checkbook. I don't say this as a good thing, it really is my biggest downfall. Those who have had to suffer the most? Boyfriends. They got lousy birthday presents, they've had to pay for much more than they expected, and have been just overall burdened with my Carrie Bradshaw philosophy on money: "I like my money where I can see it. Hanging in my closet." This is probably the issue that I have worked on the most, and still need the most help with. It is the single subject that Jeremy and I talk (and argue) about most, and is a big reason why we are not yet engaged. But I am proud to say that I have my priorities much more in order now...not even the gleam of Chanel can distract me from my financial goals....well...lets not test that! 

4. It's Not Me, It's You

    My mom pointed something out to me in high school that has stuck with me until today. She said she noticed me not being my true self around boys, especially ones I had crushes on. This continued on past high school. I always found myself becoming a version of myself that I thought the boy I was dating wanted me to be. He's into baseball? Oh hey, me too! Loves trying new and exotic restaurants? Uh...yeah me too! Has a passion for obscure, indie rock bands? I'll go grab my studded belt! I don't know if it is my current mate making me feel at ease, wisdom from my age, or a combination thereof, but I have never felt more free to be me. I am goofy, silly, and a bit of a romantic at heart, and I'd like to think those are qualities Jeremy loves about me...even if he doesn't laugh at all my cheesy jokes! 

5. Stage 5 Commitment-Phobe

     In high school I did not believe in the whole "high school sweetheart" experience. Why tie yourself down for four years when you could use that time exploring the type of person you're attracted to? I never really grew out of that. I was always looking to have fun, and honestly, always looking for the NBT. The next best thing. I was the type of girl who wanted a wedding...not necessarily a marriage. Now I am learning to truly cherish my relationship with not only my love, but also my friends and family. No more fight or flight for this girl, it seems even some of the biggest beasts can be tamed. 

Being now in my mid-twenties (where the hell has time gone?!) I am trying to grow myself into the woman I want to become. So if I have dated you...I am sorry if I blew our relationship, sincerely. But I needed you better myself, so thank you for your contribution to the Taylor Escobar Project.