Be A Star Guest at Any Holiday Party

The season of endless weekends of eggnog, cheer, mistletoe's  and the hotty toddy is upon us. Don't just be another face in the crowd, be a rock star guest! 

1. Dress to Impress
     Depending on what kind of holiday party it is will determine your wardrobe. If it is for work, stay with a sleek, modern style. I'm not saying be stuffy, but a great ponte dress with statement necklace and vibrant pumps will grab everyone's attention, but not in a way that will provide for watercooler fodder on Monday morning. No one wants to be that girl. For a party with close friends or family, something a little trendier and sexier is totally appropriate. Great winter shorts with textured hose and a new, cool tuxedo jacket will have heads turning and will give you a reason to show off all those lunges you've been doing! 

2. Bring a Host Gift
     This is a southern tradition that doesn't get enough credit. Something simple like a new playlist, your favorite holiday candle scent, or even homemade treats are a great way to show your host or hostess that you appreciate the invitation! 

3. Don't Be Too Fashionably Late
     Anyone who has planned any kind of party or event knows how stressful the process can be. The minutes leading up to the big event are anxiety ridden...what if no one comes?! There's a 15 minute window that's appropriate, but tardiness more than that is disrespectful. 

4. Be a Mingle Master
     Don't back yourself into a corner, and as hard as it is, put that crackberry away for the night. This will make you more approachable, and if you're flying solo this is super important because you don't want to be that schmuck in the corner. If you only know a select group at the party, venture out and make new friends! To avoid that awkward first time conversation lull, start off with a compliment! Who doesn't love to hear nice stuff about themselves? 

5. Shake Yo Ass...But Watch Yoself
    It's a party, so I encourage you to have fun. Dance! Drink! Be merry! But know your limits. We aren't 19 year olds at a frat house, puking in the bathroom or making a jackass of yourself will only put a downer on the mood and most likely piss your host off. Also, in the age of Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, any move you make is most likely being captured, so make it a good one! 

6. Know When to Go
     Every host has subtle hints of when it's time to wrap it up. Most will start doing dishes or cleaning, taking out the trash, or complaining about what a long day they have ahead of them the next day. Don't be the one that stays until kicked out...it's a party, not a sleepover. 

7. Send Your Thanks
     An old fashioned personalized thank you note is always appreciated, but even a phone call or text would be appropriate the day after the fete. This lets your host know you loved the party and the effort it took into putting it together. 

Unexpected Thanks

Thanksgiving is upon us, a day where we stuff ourselves not only with food and frequent flyer miles, but also stuff our families and friends with love and praise. I try to continually tell my loved ones how much they mean to me, because it’s not something that should be said once a year. With that being said, I would like to talk about 10 unexpected things that I am thankful for…and for the record, caffeine isn’t on the list, but is definitely an honorable mention.

1.      Fairytales

     Every girl dreams of prince charming, happily ever after, and a pair of shoes that can change her life. Fairytales give me hope and happiness no matter what kind of day I’ve had.

2.      The timer my family put on my internet use as a child…it forced me to use my imagination

         While I may have complained severely about this growing up, I am so thankful that my parents limited my technological distractions so as to force me to be creative with my time. I started to write, did a lot of reading, and bonded a ton with my younger siblings. Those things would have been stifled with hours of Farmville.

3.      Days that I can drive with my windows down

           Nothing puts a smile to my face faster, other than a sweet smooch from my boyfriend, than the days I can drive around with my windows down blaring the radio. In this moment I can be carefree and forget about whatever stresses are weighing on me.

4.      The family that I am building for myself (no I’m not pregnant!)

          I have a wonderful family, and as I grow older I am building one of my own. Myself, Jeremy, Jameson, and Jack share the best and worst of times together. Without them, I would not be the woman that I am today.

5.      To hear “good morning, I love you” every morning

         Okay, I may initiate this little ritual, but it’s a lovely thing to hear in the mornings! I am NOT a morning person (as most of you know) and will do as little talking as possible before a more appropriate time, like noon. Saying and hearing “good morning I love you” everyday though, is the only thing that can make me crack a smile at what feels like the crack of dawn.

6.      My connection to God

         I have been through a lot of ups and downs in life thus far, and I am sure I will have many more. One unwavering sense of relief and calm that I have though, is my connection to God.

7.      Tequila and red wine

      Both are great after a hard day…which one I drink really depends on just how hard they day was.

8.      The rush of endorphins after a great workout

        A lot of life is spent thinking “I can’t, I’m not good enough, I’m not capable” but in the gym, especially when working out with Jeremy, I push myself to limits I didn’t even think I could reach. The feeling of accomplishment mixed with sweat is one that cannot be mimicked.

9.      Mascara and lip gloss

          If you know me…you know I have a slight obsession with lip gloss. I probably have about 50 tubes. Mascara and lip gloss are quick, easy ways to make me feel put together and feminine, even on days I feel like I look like a dogs’ butt.

10.   The sounds of snores coming from my loved ones

         This may sound odd, but I get an overwhelming sense of calm from the sound of snoring. It means the ones I love are with me, safe and sound. Every night as I lay in bed I am able to sleep peacefully knowing my puppies and love are with me. **Side note…this does not include my dad’s snoring. I am so thankful for him, but his snoring is so ridiculous I can hear faint sounds of it from my apartment miles and miles away.

Modern Girl Power

Are the Housewives phenomenons actually, dare I say it, empowering women? When the franchise started nearly eight years ago it was meant to take a real look into the lives of the American elite and how the role of housewife has changed over time. Desperate Housewives meets The Real World. As the viewership grew, and more and more casts were added, the women chosen were wives and mothers, yes, but were also shrewd business women. Most would be able to support themselves if need be. And those who were not working at the beginning of their Housewives stint started venturing into lucrative business deals. Despite the cat fights, drink slinging, and overall middle school behavior...could the Housewives be empowering women? 

It is sad, but within each cities' franchise there has been at least one relationship casualty. While we as the viewer never know each side of every story and what we do see is edited, there seems to be a theme threading these divorcees together: gained independence. Whether it be financially, emotionally, or physically, all the Housewives relationships that have gone kaput are somehow connected to that woman freeing herself. Are these women getting stronger and more assertive because of the show? The women's behavior isn't always feminine, pristine, or even civil, but there's an overall tone of empowerment and comradery. No matter how much they fight and stab each other in the back, every Housewife supports one another, and at the end of the day, isn't that what modern girl power is all about? 

Lets Get Physical

           

               Most women I know don’t know how to work out properly. They live on the treadmill and elliptical machines, or in spin classes. But, if you’re trying to be fit and healthy, and not just working out to lose weight, cardio is only a fraction of the equation. Know what the problem with that is? Most of us are not working out for its health benefits. Sure, we know it’s good for us, but I’d say 90% of women in the gym are not there for the good checkup from their doctor….it’s for those Michelle Obama arms.

               The gym can be a super intimidating place. I’d like to think of myself as athletic, but having heard I run like a wild goose by several people, I may not be the Olympic athlete I once thought I was. All those different machines that are supposed to sculpt and tone your body into Jennifer Aniston’s look more like Chinese torture devices to me…I mean, how do you know if you’re using it right?! Yes, I realize they have instructions on the actual machines, but I don’t want to look like a newbie! Thank goodness for YouTube. Yes, I YouTube how to use the exercise machines! I don’t want to look like an idiot, or at least more athletic than I do on the treadmill.

               Women base most of their lives around events. Weddings, birthdays, hot dates…we plan our eating, working, and working out around these things. I won’t wear an outfit if I know I plan on wearing it for an event in the near future. I am a bridesmaid in a good friends’ wedding and have tried to curb my sweet tooth in place of fruits and vegetables. One thing that I think prevents a lot of women from getting down and dirty in the gym is the infrequency. Most of us only lift weights if we have a strapless dress to don in the near future. But retraining my brain into thinking of the gym as a place to get healthy, not a quick fix, has really improved my workouts. I go harder, last longer, and am more consistent with my routine. I may not have Michelle Obama arms or Gwen Stefani abs yet, but I feel a lot healthier. My blood pressure is better, I am feeling and sleeping a lot better (hello endorphins!), and look at the gym as a place for mental and physical challenges, not a faraway place I need to visit only when even Spanx can’t make me look skinny. 

Yes, Go To Bed Angry!

They say never going to bed angry is the golden rule to a good relationship.I say it's the gold plated rule. Going to bed before resolving things may leave you feeling anxious, unsettled, and nervous, but it also gives both you and your partner a time to step away from whatever argument you're having and think to yourselves. Is this something worth fighting over? Has this been blown out of proportion? Is standing my ground worth losing valuable time that could be better spent loving my partner? These are all thoughts and solutions that are best thought of not in the heat of the moment. When arguments drag on with no end in sight things are said that aren't meant...things that can never be taken back. When we get angry the reasonable parts of our brain shut down, and we have fight or flight tunnel vision. If we would just go to bed, let our blood pressure settle down, and return to our normal psychological state, (no one is "normal" during a fight!) issues may get solved a lot faster. Dear Abby may not agree with me, and I am in no way a relationship expert, but I know it is better to solve problems and discuss issues with a calm, clear head...and if it takes a few hours of deep sleep to get that, than so be it. I would rather go to bed angry than get nothing accomplished....plus, who says the best part of a fight, the make up, isn't more enjoyable in the morning?  

5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships

5 Ways I Blew Past Relationships....And Managed To Grow From It

1. Bottle of Anger

    I used to bottle everything that frustrated, annoyed, or upset me up until one day everything would come exploding out. This usually made a normal disagreement turn into something that should be on Maury. I still do this from time to time, but have really found that discussing the issue or problem right as it happens saves a lot of time and heartache. 

2. D! Fence!

    I am a naturally defensive person. I can try not to be, but if you say my shrimp Alfredo is fishy or my cakeballs aren't perfect spheres, there is a good chance I will fly into a rage or defend my lumpy cakeballs until death! As I have grown, I try to take less and less personally, because life is too short to be on the defense the whole time. 

3. Mo Money Mo Problems

    I have never been great at balancing my checkbook. I don't say this as a good thing, it really is my biggest downfall. Those who have had to suffer the most? Boyfriends. They got lousy birthday presents, they've had to pay for much more than they expected, and have been just overall burdened with my Carrie Bradshaw philosophy on money: "I like my money where I can see it. Hanging in my closet." This is probably the issue that I have worked on the most, and still need the most help with. It is the single subject that Jeremy and I talk (and argue) about most, and is a big reason why we are not yet engaged. But I am proud to say that I have my priorities much more in order now...not even the gleam of Chanel can distract me from my financial goals....well...lets not test that! 

4. It's Not Me, It's You

    My mom pointed something out to me in high school that has stuck with me until today. She said she noticed me not being my true self around boys, especially ones I had crushes on. This continued on past high school. I always found myself becoming a version of myself that I thought the boy I was dating wanted me to be. He's into baseball? Oh hey, me too! Loves trying new and exotic restaurants? Uh...yeah me too! Has a passion for obscure, indie rock bands? I'll go grab my studded belt! I don't know if it is my current mate making me feel at ease, wisdom from my age, or a combination thereof, but I have never felt more free to be me. I am goofy, silly, and a bit of a romantic at heart, and I'd like to think those are qualities Jeremy loves about me...even if he doesn't laugh at all my cheesy jokes! 

5. Stage 5 Commitment-Phobe

     In high school I did not believe in the whole "high school sweetheart" experience. Why tie yourself down for four years when you could use that time exploring the type of person you're attracted to? I never really grew out of that. I was always looking to have fun, and honestly, always looking for the NBT. The next best thing. I was the type of girl who wanted a wedding...not necessarily a marriage. Now I am learning to truly cherish my relationship with not only my love, but also my friends and family. No more fight or flight for this girl, it seems even some of the biggest beasts can be tamed. 

Being now in my mid-twenties (where the hell has time gone?!) I am trying to grow myself into the woman I want to become. So if I have dated you...I am sorry if I blew our relationship, sincerely. But I needed you better myself, so thank you for your contribution to the Taylor Escobar Project.