Halloween Masks

Halloween provides us with a time to put on masks...but do we always have invisible ones on? Some of us hide behind masks of confidence, arrogance, or worthiness. Fake it til you make it, right? But are we doing more harm than good...are these masks that we all hide behind doing more harm than good? The purpose of a mask in laments terms is to conceal. Too much concealment though and you are never able to let anyone in...you also lose track of who you really are. So it is technically November 1st, and you're probably sick to your stomach from too much Twix bars, but take off that mask. Be your real self with someone today. It may not the easiest thing you do, but it will be the bravest. 

No, God Did Not Intend That...

Yet another politician has come forward to say that abortion, even in the case of rape, is wrong because "it is something God intended to happen." No. God did not. I am not a deeply religious person, but do consider myself spiritual and I do not think a child conceived from rape is intended by God. That would mean that the rape itself, the most violating, humiliating, and traumatizing act that a woman can experience, was an act of God...and I personally cannot believe this to be true. The God that I know, believe, and love does not intend for rapes...ever. 

The topic of abortion is a sensitive one and everyone is entitled to his or her opinion about the matter, but I personally feel that it is a decision each woman should make on her own after much reflection and thought. The gift of life is the most precious of God's gifts, but when that life is a result of a rape, it is not a gift from God...just an unfortunate consequence from a devastating act. 

Daddy Issues

It took a few bad boyfriends, and one great one to have a real relationship with my father. Usually it's the other way around, but I've always done things a little backwards. I was never very rebellious growing up, but I did stupid stuff from time to time. This, along with my pride preventing me for apologizing for those mistakes I made, affected my relationship with my father pretty severely. Things were said and done that were not meant. Great lengths were gone to to avoid each other, and the holidays were hell. I was sad but convinced that this would be the state of our relationship forever. 

Tonight, I was able to sit down in my parents' home at the kitchen table and talk to my father alone. The same kitchen table I sat at as a child while being scolded and reprimanded, I was now able to sit at and enjoy my dad's company. We talked about life, future plans, and had a genuine conversation with no awkwardness or resentment. This has been four years in the making, with efforts being made from both of us. Maybe it is because I am getting older, and perhaps more mature...or maybe because he is getting older, and perhaps softer, but it seems that we have both made bettering our relationship a priority. Those hurtful things that were said and done in the past have been forgiven, at least on my end...I cannot speak for him. 

It has taken a lot of time, effort, and reflection to get my severed relationship with my dad to where it is today. I am very thankful to my boyfriend and mother for encouraging me to not dismiss this relationship as I have with others, because friends may come and go, but you only get one chance to be a daddy's girl. 

A Pacifier A Day Keeps The Emotional Growth At Bay?

It is no secret that boys are not very expressive with their emotions. There are no shortage of television shows, movies, and songs highlighting this, but a new study may hold all the answers. I am not a mother, but  I do know that pacifiers can be a huge help to parents dealing with a very fussy son or daughter. But, are those pacifiers shutting those babies up for more than just the time period?

A new study suggests that boys who were given pacifiers as babies had a lack of emotional growth later in life. Before a baby can talk, they use non-verbal cues, specifically facial expressions to communicate. They learn these facial expressions by mimicking others, all the while discovering the emotions that these expressions are attached to. Pretty incredible, right? So this study showed that boys in the 7-8 year old age range that were given pacifiers as babies heavily were worse at mimicking emotions and facial expressions. To make matters worse, surveyors interviewed more than 600 college age men whose parents reported heavy pacifier use, and those men scored significantly lower on tests measuring empathy and deciphering different emotions. Not surprising is the fact that girls seemed to not be affected by heavy pacifier use….we are very emotional beings and will figure out a way to let you know how we’re feeling! Parents tend to talk to girls more about emotional processing than boys, and since boys are not expected to be as emotional, parents may not compensate for the pacifier use.

It doesn’t take a Sex and The City marathon to figure out that men have the emotional capacity of a baby…but is it really their fault? This new study linking heavy pacifier use and emotional growth in males proves that maybe we should give our closed lipped honeys a break, it’s not their fault they can’t communicate their feelings…it’s their mother’s! 

The 1%

With the car magnets, bright shoelaces, and numerous rallies, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a great time to educate people about this awful, yet treatable if detected early, disease. Yes, I said "people", not "women". 

It is an unfortunate fact that men can be diagnosed with Breast Cancer and all too often the diagnoses is far too delayed because, lets face it, men hate going to the doctor. Male Breast Cancer is a rare condition, making up 1% of those who are diagnosed. Forget Occupy Wall Street, these men are the real 1 percenters that deserve to be grabbing headlines. 

A lump beneath the nipple is the most common symptom with 2,190 men expected to be diagnosed in 2012. Men possess a small amount of non-functioning breast tissue, and like breast cancer in women, treatment depends on the stage of cancer. Most men are initially treated by surgery, though. 

So man up and check yourself! That lump could easily be a fatty deposit, but continually ignoring a potential symptom could lead to a later stage of the cancer. 410 of the 2,190 men diagnosed are expected to die. Those are 410 fathers, brothers, grandfathers, and uncles. I am not trying to shift the focus off of the thousands of fearless women battling this awful disease, but rather show another perspective, one that, because it is the minority, gets pushed under the rug far too easily. 

Male Breast Cancer is a rare, but still relevant disease. So, to the men in my life, rock a pink tie with your power suit. Switch your shoelaces, even participate in a walk, but most importantly don't think you can't get it because you don't fill out a bra. Check yourself out, because 1% is 1% too many.